tears burst

"I’m feeling soft and heavy at the same time. Like I’ve put down my arms and I’m staring at the sky with my whole heart open- it’s pouring everywhere and for once, I don’t even care. I don’t care who knows, I don’t care who sees. I want to shout about my heartaches and I want to scream about my survival until it hurts even to whisper. But I’m crying too. I’m always crying too. Because it still feels like my heart is anchored to the ground. Because I’m alone. Because my chest aches so much, I wonder how I have not split in two. I didn’t think survival would feel so much like losing. I just want to unlive. Let me unlive."

beautiful reminder

He/She left me, I’m not good enough. 

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Ever gone a heartbreak? Got your heart stolen by the wrong person? You know when we go through a heartbreak, we either grow better or bitter but as time heals the pain and the scar, it will show you how you have wasted your tears for someone who didn’t deserve them.

You decide to one day just give up everything, why? Because someone who you thought loved you more than anyone could do left you. So you go on your bed, cry a thousand tears, even listen to heartbreaking music and then you complain and think about all these stuff that made him or her leave you or why the marriage proposal didn’t work.

For days, no smile on your face, your eyes have dark circles already, you hate every “wedding and love” post you see on your facebook and you become bitter with every love story you hear or when you listen to your friends talking about how happy their life is. 

You decided that. Then you blame? You blame the Qadr of Allah.

Yup, don’t tell me you didn’t. We all are guilty of that. Listen my dear brother or sister in Islam, what you are going through might be painful and will stay painful unless you get yourself up and start doing something that could help you.

NO. Listening to music won’t help you. NO. Talking to your friends about your “ex” won’t help you. NO. Hating him/her won’t help you, rather forgiving him or her would, especially when you first forgive yourself.

It will continue to be painful until you start to look for the “ease” in the right place? Where? In your sujood. Have you even really tried for a single time, one time, to truly focus on your salah and just at that moment you give all yourself in surrender to Allah? Standing there at your weakest, lowest and most vulnerable state, you’ll find ease. 

This is what you get, when you give that tear for Allah. This is what you would feel, when you cry out to Allah. This is what there is, in a tongue moistened with the remembrance of Allah. 

"Your tears are for Allah."

Stop degrading yourself every single day just because someone left you, or someone was not meant for you. Rather, rejoice for the fact that Allah saved you from that person, that Allah has someone better for you and that Allah will catch you when you fall and that He will strengthen you from your weakest point, and raise you from your lowest rank, and enlighten your heart with His Love.

For my dear brother and sister in Islam, Allah is the Only One who could love you like no other man can ever do. Get up from the bed. Make wudhu. Decide to be better. Decide to come to Him. Decide to do good. Decide to be a person in Jannah.
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And may Allah enlighten our hearts with His Light of Guidance whenever darkness of pain and sorrow shuts our hearts. Amin.